June 19 2013 Latest news:
Monday, May 28, 2012
Red, white and blue today - in the bin tomorrow
Here is a prediction. By the middle of August the streets of Great Britain will be awash with red, white and blue.
I fear, however, as we pull our aching limbs through knee-deep bunting, paper plates and comedy headwear, it will not be due to what many hope.
It is, in truth, unlikely to be as a result of a perfect storm of British success and patriotic fervour this summer.
Not wishing to cast a shadow of doubt on the brave efforts of our sports men and women, but it is unlikely we will find ourselves considering a snorkel to swim through the growing tide of colourful material.
Our Olympic athletes may not come home with a record haul of gold medals; our footballers may not emerge blinking into the sunlight at Heathrow clutching winners medals after a brave and triumphant campaign in the sunny surrounds of Poland and the Ukraine; and the chances of celebrating two months of non-stop warm temperatures and a proper summer for once, seems even more far-fetched..
As for finding a potion to allow the Queen to live for all eternity and reign over us for at least another 60 years, well, let’s just say science doesn’t support the theory
No, we will be drowning amid plastic hats, shirts last seen modelled by Bill Oddie on the Goodies circa 1978, and red, white and blue trumpets for one simple reason.
Every shop in the UK has spent its summer budget on products featuring the Union Jack or in the nation’s traditional colour scheme. From flags to cushions, ash-trays to defibrillators (I may have made that last one up), you can find the diminishing spare cash in your pocket sucked into a trader’s cash till in exchange for something a tad gawdy in a thrice.
But, with the best will in the world, with just a few days left before the long weekend, the shelves remained stacked high with the said same items.
Of course, they will not hit the bargain buckets by the time everyone goes back to work on Wednesday. No. They will simply be rebranded as the ideal accessories to cheer on our Team GB Olympic team. But after that? Well, unless you’re a supporter of a far right party and wanting to stock up on nationalist paraphernalia for the next election, all of those items are going to be available at a heavy discount.
And where today you can snap up a Union Jack mug for a £5, it’s probably safe to say give it a few weeks and they’ll sell for less than half the price come the end of the Closing Ceremony.
So brace yourself for this weekend’s jubilee flood of red, white and blue, but don’t fret if you missed out. You’ll be able to get all that and more for a fraction of the cost in a few short weeks.
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