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Holographic phones - on the market in five years

17:23 07 January 2014

Holographic Globe

Holographic Globe

Archant

Is this a good idea?

It was while Ellen Ripley (played by Sigourney Weaver) talked into her television screen during the classic 80s sci-fi Aliens that my mind began to wander onto the possibilities of future gadgets.

Back then who would have thought that your mobile phone would a) exist , and b) allow you to see the person you are talking to – FaceTime.

What does that mean for other 80s films? Would it mean there could be flying cars, or the hover boards from Back to the Future? Maybe – although I doubt they would be very fuel efficient, and the road tax would be astronomical – satire.

My brain received gadget news overload this week when someone informed me that within five years we will have holographic phones that project the caller onto the seat next to you.

Madness. Of course this is very impressive and I will almost certainly want one, but still, this is complete madness.

The majority of my mobile phone calls are made from the bathroom (two birds, one stone) – and no way I want that projected onto a bus seat or at the dinner table, decided by the person I am calling.

Secondly, what is going to happen to all the heavy breathers out there, they will have nowhere to hide. Prank phone calls will be gone forever.

What about the teenage boys ringing up the girl they fancy for the first time, only to put the phone down the second she answers – nowhere to run to now.

If you are like me and you use your mobile phone to avoid eye-contact with the high street charity muggers – you will also be pretty worried that holographic phones may do away with your escape device.

“Do you want to save the children?”

“Sorry, I can’t stop, I’m on the phone”

“No you are not, prove it, where is the little hologram of your mate?”

See what I mean.

At the beginning they say there will need to be a hologram machine adaptor for the phones and the holograms will be projected onto water vapour released by said machine.

So what if you are in a bar and you want to chat on the phone, you have to spray the air with water vapour for your mate to appear. That is a sure fire way to start a brawl – it is well known that chavs hate water vapour.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea, but it all sounds a little far fetched at the moment.

Let me know when they have refined the machine down to an app on your smart phone and I will buy it for 69p and not a penny more.

I tell you what though, those phone numbers you find in telephone boxes might be a darn sight more interesting.

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